Monday, 30 January 2012

My Morning: Inspiration and Friendship

I sit in contemplation
Willing it to grace me with its presence
The harder I try the more it retreats and fades away
Tension slams the swing doors shut
A decision made, space is needed

At home in the mud and rain
Open air soothes a creased brow
A path is trodden in anticipation
To tea, coffee, cold toes, warm hearts
To the joy of sharing time with such a gentle soul

Making Changes

' are no longer concerned with the acceptance or approval of the world. You are no longer satisfied with what that has brought you. You are no longer pleased with what it has given others. You want the pain to stop, the suffering to stop, the illusion to end. You have had enough of this world as it presently is. You seek a new world. Seek no longer. Now call it forth'

Neale Donald Walsch
Conversations with God: An Uncommon Dialogue Book 1 

Sunday, 29 January 2012

My Horizon


I love to walk and run, it is a great way to not only get out and see places but also to get away from others. The escape is not just about the physical aspect of enjoying the environment and fresh air, it is also about the thoughts and feelings experienced as I move through the spaces I’m exploring.
During my walks and runs emotions, thoughts and memories are evoked by the sights, smells and sounds around me.
The time I spend roaming the cliffs and countryside is a time for reflection and a conscious contact with the physical movement of my body through the great outdoors. The sweet sensation of freedom and space reminds me of my connection with the energy that flows through everything.
The horizon is my place of contemplation and inspiration, a view that gives me a glimpse at the infinity of our existence, making me conscious of what and who we are.

In the act of walking in the mountains, deserts, forests, through constant movement, in coping with wind, rain, snow, cold, fatigue, it becomes possible, Drury argues, to reach a state in which the inner and outer realities become a ‘fluid whole’.
Taking refuge from the bigness of open spaces in a small, cocooned shelter is the opposite of allowing the mountains to stretch you outside yourself beyond the next horizon. It is in this space and movement between the two that insight becomes possible.
Kay Syrad
(Drury, C (1998) Silent Spaces. London: Thames and Hudson)

Thursday, 26 January 2012

A Place of Revelation

A place in time when gut feelings and instincts are truly acknowledged and realised
A confirmation of self brought home and made welcome
An awakening to a truth that brings freedom and joy
A freedom that calms the mind, soothes the body and feeds the spirit
Unnecessary pressures and worthless expectations fade away
A new perspective that brings clarity and a lightness to the heart
A wider perspective that allows everything to shine

Friday, 20 January 2012

A Journey of One Hundred and Three Minutes, Twice a Day, Three Days a Week

Alien space that suffocates the spirit
Yet welcomed time to read and reflect
An opportunity for the mind to explore other worlds
A chance for the body to step back and be still
The struggle to contain the frustration

Sunday, 15 January 2012

A New Adventure to be Shared

Cajoled into an early start by the prospect of a new adventure to be shared
The crystal shine of the sky reflects a grounded sprightliness that arouses within
Excitement and anticipation livens every cell, poised and eager for the challenge ahead
The body moves with vigour and purpose, and with positive intent I create

Thursday, 12 January 2012

Contextual Task for today: One hour to map something of the everyday.

A Map of my reflections, feelings and actions during the hour

Blue Horizon

Urgent steps through repugnant smoke and noise of no melody
Sunshine and stillness draw me to the blue horizon
I sit, content, eyes closed to the orange glare
Soaking up the warm energy it offers unconditionally
We move, we sit, we talk, we laugh, we love, we cry
Willingly, we continue living the illusion

Tuesday, 10 January 2012

Keeping the Balance

For the past year and a half my energies have been channeled into the challenges of producing work for my fine art degree, along with all the other demands that come with it. I do not like to do things 'by half'. I have recognised that it is within my nature when deciding to do something it is with a determined 'all or nothing' attitude. The desire (with a little obsessiveness!) to do the best I can, drives me to push myself to achieve what it is I have in mind to accomplish.

Before starting my degree this need to drive and push myself, along side an unhappy state of mind and the need to run away, was channeled and released through physical exercise. By taking part in challenges that required me to train my body to perform and execute what these events demanded, I pushed and pushed until  my body had had enough.

I am learning that life is about balance. Having spent time studying, having to read and reflect, not just on what has been read but how it relates to life, my mind is being opened to many ideas and thoughts that I have not considered before. I am giving my mind a chance to be informed and the opportunity for it to develop. I am being creative too, which is an essential part of being a whole person. The want and ability to create and express through inspiration (spirit) is within us all. Whether it is through using paint, photography, words, wood, stone or metal or whether its creating an abstract object, a tool of use, mending, building or tending to the plants in the garden.

Through discovering, acknowledging and celebrating these different elements of me, I feel myself growing as a person and I am accepting who I am.

So, during the year and a half of studying and creating I put the physical challenges to one side, they hurt me and I didn't need to be doing that to myself anymore. However, being a lover of the outdoors and feeling physically connected to nature I never gave up walking or the running and cycling but I started to learn the meaning of 'moderation'!

Now that life is a more balanced affair for me, I have come to the conclusion that being physical is a part of me, even an inspiration, as is being creative, learning and trying develop spiritually. I believe I can now go back to doing the occasional  physical challenge without hurting myself. The focus will no longer be about trying to win, trying to go as fast as I can, no longer about push, push, push!! It is now about the experience of doing, enjoying and taking part. We are spiritual beings but that does not mean we can not savour the pleasures of being physical, the body being designed to move and use as a tool. Unfortunately many people actually take better care of their cars than their bodies...but that is another story! What matters is the intent behind the action. The balance between the mind, body and spirit can be achieved.  

My physical experiences inspire my ' art work'. The focus and passion to create, is parallel to the passion that fuels the drive to push the body to the outer limits of its normal I have decided to take part in some running races again and also a 100m cycle ride, the reasons and focus now being a very different motivation, the biggest challenge for me will be making sure the old state of mind doesn't creep back in encouraging the obsessive nature of over training!

10 weeks to my next challenge........and it started today with a 40 mile ride..........

Friday, 6 January 2012

My Adventure in Wonderland

We leave the house early to walk the short route to the bus stop. Libby, fairly new to this life and conditioned by societies fear of the unknown, looks out into the darkness from the warmth and familiarity with some trepidation. She sees the infinite blackness and hears the force of the howling wind and the heaviness of the rain. She looks to me for reassurance. I communicate it to her without words, a smile and the eyes can say so much more, far more eloquently and in a fraction of the time.
The unknown is so often far less ominous than we imagine and more often than not, very rewarding, even life changing. To venture into what is not known, with some caution but openness, is to fill your heart with the excitement that comes with knowing that you are about to learn something new, that you are going to evolve as a person through a new experience. See life as an adventure and you will really see things thus gaining an insight, big or small, with every experience.With every insight you learn something, so evolve.
So with adventure in mind, Libby and I, wrapped up, feeling comforted and protected step out into the darkness.......

This morning it is different, outside there is peace and calm. The darkness is still. There is no trepidation as we step into the darkness this time. We cross the dewy grass, through the silence. We step past the gate into the open and Libby stops, she stands still, her whole being stares in awe and wonder of the rising sun's angelic  glow. I smile with a mixture of delight at sharing such an inspiring moment with someone so close and the relief and gladness at witnessing their openness and awareness of them connecting with such beauty. We stand and gawp like love struck teenagers may gawp at their idols, watching the wondrous colours of the sky change and move.
As Libby steps into the warmth of the bus I wave, I willingly and lovingly give her a part of me that goes with her. Now it is time for me to wander in My Wonderland.
Within my chest are those feelings of anticipation and excitement that precede an adventure, an experience not yet known or remembered. Even though a route taken many times, each time it is perceived and seen differently, creating a whole new experience.

Through the movement of my body and awareness of my senses I experience my physical, through my muses and reflections I experience my mind and through the freedom of expression I experience my spirit.

Tuesday, 3 January 2012

Day Three

Stormy winds
Stormy seas
Soaked to the skin

The Button

Within reach for most of this life
Now becoming faded in the distance
As self- worth is being learnt
The action of pressing The Button becomes less urgent
The want to harm and punish becomes less needed
A choice is made, a behaviour changed
But when you think you are mastering what lightens the heart
Something, what?!
Lets the darkness seep back in
That old mindset that makes you reach for The Button
The newness loses its strength
It becomes infected
The choice to heal this infection is there
The choice to eliminate The Button is there too
The action to heal is being taken
To see The Button disappear would truly open the heart

Monday, 2 January 2012

Day Two

A day of walking through the steep, precarious mountains of Dirty Dishes and the soft, curvy hills of Dirty Washing.

Day One

The day after the celebrations
Reality still hazy and tilted
The body shaking and unsteady
Sensible boots, hats and coats
We walk a path of mud, rain and fresh air
We share, talk and listen, connecting
The perfect tonic