Tuesday, 27 December 2011

Two Worlds

Expectations hover and follow
Lists to remind and tick off
The joy and sense of a reality the falling rain brings
The inner smile at having wet legs and dripping hair
From a world of the elements, a place of life
Into a world piled high with stuff
The colours and shapes of lifeless objects
A maze of plastic crap
From a world of vibrant energy
To a world of confusion and anxiety

Wednesday, 21 December 2011

Sharing My Wonderland

A route usually walked on my own
The pleasure of sharing my wonders with an open heart
A new set of eyes
The freedom and imagination of youth
Unseen wonders found and enjoyed


I am troubled
My brow is tense and creased
The lines even deeper
Am I setting myself up for a fall?
I think I want one thing but do I want another?
The effort is made to try and place it elsewhere
We create what 'is' with our wondering thoughts
So is it inevitable?
A change of thought pattern will shape a different future
Unease of the heart always causes such angst
Maturing years make it no easier
Confusion rules my head
Causing conflict in the heart
Not knowing mists over stable ground
I tread tentatively and cautiously
When the steps become more sure
The right path has been found, possibly,
Something is said
Unguarded I stumble a little
Unarmed and lost I freeze for a moment
A million questions in such a brief time
Do I continue walking this way?
Is this slightly uneven path under my feet or through the land of my mind?

Monday, 19 December 2011


Sitting in the space of familiar smells and the wonder of contentment
Looking and feeling my way forward to where actions are leading me
What has been no longer troubles but highlights the joys of the now
The eyes and heart are opened, seeing and feeling the beauty of what is there
Somewhere deep inside the warmth informs me of what is important and where I belong
A wander in the land of before, of now and my future
A land that once brought fear and isolation, now brings comfort and security
My heart swells with such force, overflowing with gratitude and love
I am so blessed it takes my breath away, makes my chest ache and my body sing
To give unconditionally is one of life's great joys
To be free of want and full of gratitude is another

Thursday, 15 December 2011

Our 25 Mile Walk to the Full Moon

Coverack to Cury
12 hours and 25 miles
12 noon to 12 midnight
Half day, half night
Torches and moonlight
Blisters and plasters
Mud and rock
Sand and pebbles
Blue sky and grey sky
Orange sky and pink sky
A map and signs
Silence and chatter
Sunshine and showers
Calmness and breeziness
Sweaty and chilly
Rainbows and rain clouds
Poles and gloves
Hats and hair
Stomping and chilling
Sketchbooks and pencils
Bananas and nuts
Mango and crisps
Paths and no paths
Slips and stumbles
Oh fucks and oh shits
Wet feet and dry feet
Anxiety and contentment
Sculptures and kissing gates
Stiles and stepping stones
Mushrooms and molehills
Gorse and heather
Cattle and ponies
Amazing and exhilarating
Tiring and inspiring
The edge and the abyss
Hot tea and pills
Awe and fear
Imagination and reality
Jelly legs and aching shoulders
Encouragement and friendship
Smiling and more smiling

And can't forget.........

Knicker chafe and hysterical laughing! 

Wednesday, 14 December 2011

Prophecies of Change

Throughout the history of humankind we have looked to the Heavens for inspiration and guidance. It is here where we have found our gods in the constellations and from where we have predicted our futures. Through trying to understand the wonders of the Universe, of the stars and planets around us humankind has come to acknowledge that we are not the centre of the Universe and that we are in fact an infinitely small part of it. It has been through this acknowledgement of our being a small part of something so infinitely large that has inspired many men and women to explore the Cosmology of the Heavens and the physics of subatomic particles to find answers to who and what we are and how our Universe works and also to find out where humankind came from and the essence of our existence.
When looking to the planets and stars and their forces that affect everything in the Universe, mankind has been able to make predictions on how these forces influence the Earth and all that inhabit it. Attuning to the cycle of the seasons produces optimum growth and so on a much larger Universal scale a conscious alignment with the energies of the ‘Ages’ produces optimum growth for humanity.
So what is an ‘Age’ in astrological terms? Because of a particular movement of the Earth’s pole, the Sun crosses the Equator at slightly different point every year. Over the passing years this point shifts 1 degree approximately every 72 years and also shifts the Age Sign every 2,000 years. The complete cycle of all the ages of the Zodiac lasts nearly 26,000 years. The shift every 2,000 years is beginning of a new Age.
At the moment we are in the Age of Pisces, however there is already a strong influence coming in from the Age of Aquarius that is about to dawn on us. The Signs occur in reverse order for the Age’s cycle.
So what does it mean for humankind when moving from the Age of Pisces to the Age of Aquarius?
The Age of Pisces has been largely dominated by religion, Christianity in particular. The Piscean symbol being a fish is used in Christian religion and as a symbol of the early church. It is a sign of sacrifice, charity, mercy and compassion.
The sign of Pisces is ruled by the planet Neptune. Neptune is associated with divinity, blind faith and passionate commitment to a path that is clearer than any we have known before. Within this passionate, blind faith heresy will play its part too, so this age is full of religious conflicts and crusades headed by those that perceive their actions to be right and driven by good intentions but are blinded by their passion and see wrong in those that do not believe in what they do, making massive sacrifices in the name of ‘God’. Basically, even though this is an age of the birth of religion and its teachings of love and compassion, the world has been at war since the beginning on the Piscean Age.
However, Neptune is a spiritual planet and its influences are for humanity to learn about and experience the illusions and delusions of the temptations that entice us in the physical world detaching us from our true spirit. It will take from us the things that we regard as important yet stand between us and pure joy, whether they are fame, power, pride, money or the ego.  Neptune is the great deceiver and Pisces allows us to live in blind faith.
 From the Age of Pisces we are going into the Age of Aquarius. The planet that rules Aquarius is Uranus and it is the great awakener and a symbol of great changes and progress. Blind faith will give way to awakened belief, enlightened belief. We will no longer have to live in fear and will not be lead by disillusionment.
This Age is characterised by technical progress, technology and inventions. Scientists takeover from priests and we have become a society based on knowledge, information and communication. Religious dogma has been replaced by laws and regulations.

With the gentle side of the Age of Pisces, which is spiritually based and invites us to show mercy and compassion, combined with the influence of the Age of Aquarius, freedom and equality will rule rather than religious oppression. The influences of the two Ages encourage us to broaden our souls, to show love to our fellow human beings and by using scientific and technological advancements to improve our health and comfort. Humankind’s relationship with ‘God’, or whatever you chose to call the Source, which has been disillusioned by wars and intolerance, will change from a faith born of blindness to a faith born of vision and light. We will no longer need churches to find ‘God’ for we will simply look to nature and the people around us to know that ‘God’ is within everything. This truth will bring freedom and we will no longer be bound by fear because we have faith within ourselves to trust our own instinct to make the right decisions.
For me, these predictions of change have great resemblance to the changes that happen in H.G.Wells’s story ‘In the Days of the Comet’. So is it just a story or is it a modern day prophecy, whether intentional or not? Was H.G.Wells trying to communicate something other than a great science fiction story? Could he see and feel the change that has been predicted by so many cultures for many years now?
 In ‘In the Days of the Comet’ a Great Change is brought about by the green vapour of a comet which brings about a profound and lasting transformation in the attitudes and thinking of humankind. The book describes how humanity embarks on a greater understanding of itself, war’s end, polluting industries are stopped and the world develops honestly and rationally. People become equal. Negative emotions are eliminated and humankind work together to create a better, more peaceful and beautiful world to live in. Could H.G.Wells see the way the world was going and could see that humanity’s only chance of change was through experiencing a massive astrological intervention to bring about an awakening?

Ancient Culture’s Prophecies of change  
For many centuries ancient cultures from different countries have had their own prophecies and one that modern western world is becoming more aware of are the predictions of 2012.
Being a race living in world driven by the importance materialism the modern western world interprets these predictions from just the physical, material existence. Consequently, these prophecies are misinterpreted, blown out of proportion and sensationalised for our entertainment and a false assumption of a doomsday has been predicted. We need to remember that we are spirit beings living a physical experience and these prophecies came from ancient civilisations that were fully aware of this.
Here is a brief overview of some of the ancient culture’s prophecies, notice their similarities.
The Maori prophecies state that 2012 is an end of time where divisions dissolve and spiritual and physical worlds become one. The survival of this time will be to learn to live in the vibration of the Earth, Sun and Universe as one, rather than believing we are all separate beings. Great healing will take place and they say “Seek not to fight evil....do not fight it....let goodness take its place”.
The Zulu prophecies talk of a world being ‘turned upside down’ by the passing of a massive comet. They believe it has happened before and the comet is due to return in the year 2012.
The Egyptian stone calendar shows an era end in 2012 called the Phoenix Cycle. We end one Age and begin a new one.
The Kalachakra teachings from Tibet say that after the world is lost to war and greed a new Golden Age will arise.
The Peruvian Quechua Incan and Q’ero peoples also predict the coming of a Golden Age. They predict a merging with the Universe when we meet ‘ourselves’ again and people come together and be a new kind of people that will be able to relate to the Earth again. It will be the end of the world as we know it. We will become beings of light again while in human form. We will be our own leaders and learn from nature and its wisdom. We will honour and acknowledge the Divine within everyone, ourselves and creation and look with the eyes of our soul and engage the essential.
The Aztec prophecies tell of an Age of massive change they call the ‘Time of the Sixth Sun’ which will bring about a huge transformation after which a ‘new people’ will inhabit the Earth.
The Cherokee calendar ends on December 21st 2012. This is when their version of a ‘messiah’ will come to the Earth. They predict a massive upheaval for humankind, many will die but humanity will survive. To the Cherokee it is a time of choice as to whether it is to be a time of great destruction or the new beginning of a great culture that have learned to love and honour each other and treat the earth with respect.
The Inuit prophecies share the belief with the Maya ancients that we are living in the Fourth World that is stuck in male energy. This energy is ruled by intellect and aggression.  We are now moving to the feminine energy ruled by intuition and the heart. First the Earth is going to give us a good shake up and we are to cleanse and heal ourselves. We are not to be afraid but to have faith and trust in the process.
The Waitaha nation of New Zealand say that they have been waiting for the sign of the water bearer, Aquarius, as a turning point and predict great chaos and changes in the Earth, climate and in human governments and financial systems. But after the chaos comes beauty. During this time humankind is to recover our hearts and souls so that we can see the beauty in the Earth, ourselves and each other. We must recover the vast power of compassion.
The cycle of the Maya calendar comes to a close on December 21st 2012 and predicts great change to an Age. The Maya have said that a 5125 year period encompasses a single ‘World’ and that these Worlds when they get to this age are prone to ending with environmental and social chaos. They believe that this is a time of great opportunity which can mean humanity either choosing a new more harmonious Age or face apocalyptic catastrophe, they have the choice. Their prophecies suggest a time of turmoil and a great sense that time is somehow speeding up, followed by the cleansing of the human soul that will lead to a spiritual and cultural rebirth. The prerequisite to this rebirth is that of humanity recognising an understanding that they are spirit beings having a physical experience and that higher dimensional forces are constantly interacting with us.
The Hopi prophecy of the ‘Blue Star’ or ‘Blue Kachina’
Some 13,000 years ago a group of Maya were sent on for a purpose which was not made known at the time; this group became the Hopi tribe.  The Hopi elders passed down their myths and prophecies from generation to generation. One such prophecy says,
“When the Blue Star Kachina makes it appearance in the Heavens, the Fifth World will emerge. The return of the Blue Star will be the alarm clock that tells us of the new day and the new way of life, a new world that is coming. This is where the changes will begin. They will start as fires that burn within us, and we will burn up with desires and conflict if we do not remember the original teachings, and return to the peaceful way of life”
They predicted that there would be great spiritual conflict and war with much material being destroyed but a new world would emerge, a one-world, one-nation under one power, the power being the Great Spirit, a Compassionate and Environmentally Balanced Governance. This time will come when the Blue Star, then far off and invisible, makes its appearance to this generation. It will herald the start of a great Purification period prior to 2012.
Some believe the comet 17P/Holmes to be the Blue Star or Blue Kachina. The comet Holmes exploded in size on October 24th 2007 and made itself visible at the time the Hopi predicted the Blue Star would appear. It is now the largest single object in the solar system being bigger than the Sun and is visible to the eye at night, high in the northeast sky.
In humanity’s eyes, throughout history, the passing of comets have thought to have brought warnings of change whether good or bad, could the comet Holmes also be a harbourer of a message of importance to humankind? Could it mark the beginnings of a Great Change similar to that H.G Wells describes in ‘In the Days of the Comet’?
Even if you do not believe these prophecies to be true maybe just take a moment to reflect on our World as it is at the moment and how things could be if there were to be a Great Change. Can you blame these cultures and those that believe even just small elements of their prophecies for believing and hoping for a better, more peaceful and compassionate New World that lives in harmony with the Earth and all that inhabit it?   

Tuesday, 6 December 2011

Trees, Mud and Sand: A Much Loved Walk


I love to walk and run; it is a great way to not only see places but also to get away from others.  I love to go out exploring on foot. This gives me an opportunity to see and feel the environment in my own time. This process of walking is not just about seeing the sights, it is also about your thoughts and feelings as you move through the spaces. My walks are about the emotions that are evoked and the thoughts and memories that may be triggered by the sights, smells and sounds around me. The more we become aware of what we are sensing in the here and now the more we are likely to get a feel for the place and space we are in. Thoughts can become clearer and the mind more at rest. Walking is an escape to find the open unrestricted space that evokes those feelings of connection and freedom. The experience of moving in amongst the elements of the environment is as important to me as eating.
I create maps of these walks. They are my response to this experience. 

Shoes that let the Water in

It is another wet and windy day, it is beautiful. I was being tugged in two directions, between the place to do some work and the place of open spaces and the fresh cold wind. I knew that if I spend some time in one I would settle in the other without distraction. I did not feel the urge to flog myself today so chose to walk instead of run. Normally on such a wet day I would reach for the sturdy, sensible, waterproof walking boots but decided to go with my running/walking shoes. They are not waterproof so let the water in but are lightweight and allow me move with a quicker pace and more confidence because I can feel the ground under my feet. It was actually quite nice to feel the cold muddy water oozing in and soaking my socks, cooling my warm, always slightly sore feet, this was a quick march not a pleasant meander. How many of these little yet pleasing experiences do we miss out on because of the need to keep wrapped up and waterproof? Do we lose a connection with something essential? Surely we need to let the water in a little?

Monday, 5 December 2011

Something for each of the 206 minutes I spend on the train going there and coming back

Travelling first class today, cheap ticketsRed and grey brick work
Industrial and worn out
Heaps of rubbish amongst the green
A cloudy, possibly clearing sky
The comfort of first class seats
Neglected old engine houses
Grey boxes of consumerism
The horizon comforting me with the reminder that the sea is not far away
A playing field of mud and swings
A bird’s eye view of busy moving traffic
My stomach reminding me I haven’t had breakfast
The brief darkness of a short tunnel
Concern and trepidation of the tasks we are going to be set today
A colourful shirt of  an orange and brown geometric pattern
Her glasses balanced on the tip of her nose as she reads a book
A brief look at the doom and gloom of a newspaper
Again the thought of breakfast and a warm cup of tea
Herds of school children, oblivious and intent
A landscape of concrete framed in green
A bright red handbag
Muddy tracks through a long grassed field
The brown carpet of trees seen from above
Conversations about the weather
The silvery flow of a river
The splash of orange and brown leaves
The lines of hedging
The twisting branches of naked trees
Three orange cows
The green and yellow of gorse
A line of pylons standing tall and silent
A woodland, dark and secretive
A bright blue top and dangly earrings
The white spots of distant sheep
A view right into someone’s garden
Some distant manmade hills
An old abandoned horse box
The stripes of a ploughed field
The whoosh of a passing train
Eight concrete chimneys, ominous and tall
Green plastic fencing
Ivy covered derelict buildings in the dip of a valley
The  smooth smell of coffee
A sky getting greyer, the light getting duller
A platform full of cold looking travellers
A lonely purple flower
Other peoples conversations
The landscape filling with the beauty of trees
An expanse of green lawn for golfers
At last, a cup of tea and some breakfast
A grand house surrounded by grand gardens
A wise old oak tree
The pleasure of peanut butter on cold toast and ginger biscuits dunked in my tea
The upright line of trees
An inviting path alongside a winding river
An old beautiful steam train
Pathetic flowerbeds
Trunks of ivy
A carpet of fallen autumnal leaves
The overwhelming need to be out in what I see
The orderly lines created within a manmade woodland
Racing the traffic on a parallel road
Tracks through a wet field
The rolling hills of a valley
A jolly ticket master, makes a change
A concrete space covered in parked cars
A satisfied stomach
Laughter and friendly conversation
A manmade hill scattered with saplings
Fields of rippling plastic
A field of quirky looking lamas
A rain cloud dark in the distance
A road cutting through the landscape
Blocks of houses standing guard on a hillside
A pond full of fallen leaves
Green metal railings, KEEP OUT
Another platform full of serious looking travellers
A way out
Is the sky actually brightening?
A little lady in bright red trousers
Talk of strikes and pensions
A footbridge to the ‘other side’
Butterflies in my stomach
Bright orange overalls grubby and ripped
Hard helmets and scaffolding
A high bridge with a fantastic view
A field of cows all lying down, does that mean it’s going to rain?
A flock of seagulls stomping their feet
Sheep, heads down and chewing
A line of trees blocking my view
The spire of a church pointing to the heavens
Talk of shopping and shops, what is good and what is bad
The standing stones of a grave yard
The uncharacteristic dread of aging
Bridges over wider rivers
A longer tunnel, my ears blocking and unblocking
Leaves flying past my window, free
The joy of seeing some blue sky
Bobbing moored boats
An expanse of water and the industry of the city
The continuous rippling movement of the water
The crossing from one world to another
Built up and boxed in
A late train, packed, suffocating and smelly
A strange young lady who wouldn’t let anyone sit in the seat next to her
The warm beautiful glow of the sun getting lower in the sky
People reading, away in another world
An inner fight with a strong urge to escape
Washing hanging on lines
Earphones and snoring
A text from Libby, she’s safe and sound
A glance at someone’s newspaper
Feeling stuffed from eating lunch, the flapjack was just too much
Back over the bridge
A low tide and the smoothness of exposed mud
The usual slight sadness at the sight of my reflection
A craving for the fresh air off the sea
Brown corduroy trouser and hush puppy shoes
Phones,  glasses, drinks, pencil cases, laptops
Grey hair, brown hair, blond hair, longhair, short hair, no hair
At last the welcoming sight of green
The smell of perfume and stale cigarettes
Curly hair, straight hair, flicked hair
The graceful, flowing curves of the hills
My mind full of what has happened today and what there is still to do
The hope that I can read my writing when I come back to rewrite
The smoke from a bonfire, in my mind I can smell it
A toilet engaged, coach D, seat 39
The rustle and shuffle of newspapers, bags and bodies
The distant chitter chatter of young ladies
Someone talking too loudly on their phone, we really don’t want to know
Fresh coffee in a brown paper bag
The landscape turning orange as the haze of dusk creeps in
An announcement for the next stop, the movement of anticipation
My body tired and relaxed yet deeply uncomfortable
The fluorescent lights white, bright and intrusive
An elderly couple struggle with their suitcase, we all just sit and stare
Flashbacks of the dreams I had last night
Pull handle in an emergency
The joy of planning what to do at the weekend, where to explore this time
A forest of autumnal colours, my favourite part of the journey
The jingling of money being retrieved from a pocket
Resisting the strong urge to close my eyes to travel elsewhere
A skinny man in a green checked shirt and cap, looking a little confused
A fat man dressed in black
An area of trees lying down dead
The rustle and squeak of a packet of crisps being opened, the crunch of them being eaten
Yellow leaves hanging like golden coins, a tree of treasure
The welcoming feel of cool air brought on with new passengers
The sloppy noise of a young couple kissing, oh young love!
The reflections becoming more dominant as the sun makes its exit
A young man absorbed and intense with his writing
Cream coloured socks, diamond rings, a white plastic watch
A lady just starting to read chapter 36 of her paperback book
A field of plastic that looks like snow
Again the overwhelming urge to run and escape, I try not to scream
A reservation ticket discarded on the floor
The smooth lumps and bumps of a golf course
Arms full of shopping bags bulging with delights, it’s that time of year again
The deep inhaling and exhaling of the lady next door
She shifts, scratches her head, rearranges the position of her bottom
A long line of metal railings
Boarded up windows and doors
The bright red glow of school jumpers
Dreadlocks and a top hat
Coughing and spluttering, please keep it to yourself
I yawn and stretch doing my best to contain the impatience
An arm covered in wrinkly old skin
The same jolly ticket master I saw this morning
Advertisements of Christmas pleasures
The hint of dread and panic that comes with the word Christmas
Fields lined with soldiers of solar panels
Another lined with fallen soldiers of dying maize
A brown leather jacket with a big fluffy collar
The lady is now on chapter 38, she has dirty finger nails
Some nice suede shoes with a big floppy bow
A bright orange field criss-crossed with tractor tracks
Black and grey stripy socks with smart pointy, brown shoes
A mental note, the washing needs doing and I need a new axe
Again the pleasant wash of realisation that it is the weekend tomorrow
A tiny silent film on a tiny screen held up close
Cathedral spires warm,  reflecting the pink of the sky
Herds of children take over any spare seat, the noise level doubles
Talk of  football and TV
A call about my log delivery , stocking up for the winter
Youthful chatter, energy, spots and bravado
Regret of missed out youth
Bright red trousers and bleached hair
An IPhone, cheese and onion crisps
A beer can rolling with the gentle rock of the train
The intolerance of age with youth
The flicking of hair and attention to makeup
The charmer of the group, the swooning of girls
Darkness descends, the street lights start to glow
A string of traffic, fairy lights from above
The solid silhouettes of rocks on the hill
The smell of wet dog
Black shoes with holes in the soles
No more view out of the window
The giggling and shrieking of girls
The floor covered in the remnants of the food ingested along the way
The announcement I have eagerly been awaiting
A rummage around in my bag for the car keys
Standing at the door, fresh cold air rushing in making me feel human again
The carriage is slowing, it’s time to put my pen away 

Mapping the Journey There

My City

My City is
A space for physical and mental freedom
A place where no one can tell me what I should or shouldn’t be
A place where the sea air fills my lungs
No interruptions
Where I can experience natures elements
No roofs or walls
Where I can be in and amongst the vibrant colours of nature
Inspiration and awe
Where I can feel the connection and peace of mind of knowing
No roads, no cars, no buildings, no ‘stuff’
The sound of the water
The smell of the Earth
The wind in my face
The freedom of the horizon

Hair Cut

Today I had a hair cut. Always a dreaded event because so often it goes wrong and when you've had such long thick hair that becomes more than just 'my hair' its hard to part from it. But there was more to it all this time and the temptation to have it all chopped off was there looming in my stomach...go on, just do it! But the guts were not there, it would just end in tears. Yes, I fear a midlife crisis with many questions that need not just answering but some action taken too. There is the need to make a statement, I need to say "This is me, see me". So is chopping all my hair off the answer, or maybe just let the grey show? its been there for nearly 20 years surely it deserves to be recognized? How many women out there that are fast approaching the big 40 show their true colours? How many do it with pride? I hope there are many but I have the feeling there are not. Men get laughed at when they try covering signs of their maturing years, men look 'distinguished'. Women are constantly bombarded by messages that encourage them to cover up any signs of aging, we have to stay young looking to be 'attractive'. As we age we are forgotten, to be unattractive too, we may as well not exist. Underneath all those dyes and paints do we really know what we look like? Do we actually 'see' each other and I mean really see, not with just open eyes but open hearts too? If we can be true to ourselves without hiding and changing things and be healthy then why can that not be enough? I FEEL young, surely that should be enough?
I want to be me. After 20 years of covering up do I have the guts to let the age show? Do I raise my middle finger to pressures? Do I run free shouting 'I did it and I don't care what you think!'? Or will this nagging feeling in my gut and heart that seems to get louder and louder pass?
The wind and rain beckons me so yes I will run very soon, whether its because I am free I'm not sure but I will be laughing, a wet, muddy run always makes me laugh.